new groove idea

i just posted a new idea i have on my MySpace site. it's very basic and raw... i thought i would share my process for composing and "assembling" these tracks. i've never really shared my drumming in this way before, and now i'm finally starting to get those "voices in my head" out into the universe.

if you do feel compelled to comment...

why do it

ok, maybe i owe an apology. i do have to admit that i was sure that i could write something and feel okay about complete strangers reading it. what stops me from going to that level is fear of exposing myself that intimately. seriously. what else could it be.

so, at the risk of looking like a complete ass, i'm going to put this "poem" up for real this time. with all the fears that i have at being judged like some ego centric teenager, what's the worst that could happen? someone might not like it and say so?

i should hope that i would have a thicker skin by now. rejection goes with being self-employed...

here goes:

the endless home – ep 2007

will u lay beside me
when I’m dead and gone?

will u be beside me
the only one,
the only one,
the only one.

it’s darker outside without
my eyes to guide me.
i feel my way around,
where no one may find me.

I’ll forget where I’m goin’,
but not til I’m done
thinking and feeling
scared, I’ve been running,
oh what from?

will u be beside me
when I’m dead and gone?

if u see me scared,
what can I do,
to make u feel happy
and not see me
through…

will u lay beside me…
when I’m dead and gone?

will u be beside me
the only one,
the only one,
the only one.

my own eyes
are blinded with haze
of no certain terms in
endless, distant gaze.

beside my own feeling
I put out to you
to take me in your heart
and let my hurt undo.

will u be beside me
when I’m dead and gone?

will u be beside me?
the only one,
the only one,
the endless home.

a poem - the endless home

Here is a poem I've written that I have a musical idea to put to. I don't usually do this, as I've never really been one to "identify" with lyrics. I've always found that music moves me more... Back when I actually allowed myself to listen to classical music (I haven't done that, actually since I moved to vancouver. it's like i wanted to erase a part of me)

anyways, enough of that. i was also wondering why i would even bother putting this up in here. is the only possible reason for writing this blog born from some sense of self-aggrandizing, narcissistic need to feel important, worthwhile and meaningful in a world of over 6 billion souls?

i can't do it. i'm just not ready yet.

pacifika signs to six degrees records

this is cool stuff.

it's finally official, after having to keep my mouth basically shut for months. the paperwork is signed, the cd is in it's final stages of re-mixing and re-mastering and should be released under the six degrees label in february of 2008.

for those who don't know who six degrees records are, i don't blame you. neither did i until about 6 months ago, when their interest in pacifika was first revealed to me.

i've been pretty outspoken against the whole major-label game. these guys really are different. first off, its a very small company with a big reach and an impressive roster. the biggest attraction to me is that they really are about the music first. for example, one of the owners, Bob Duskis has a weekly podcast, featuring stuff he likes, and not always roster artists from the label. i've listened a few times and have really enjoyed it.

btw, the link to six degrees records is this: www.sixdegreesrecords.com - do go check them out. they have a heavy emphasis on world and world/electronic, world/trance.

for me, it's both great news and a bit of the unknown. you see, i'm still technically a 'side-man' in the project, though i am considered essential to the sound and part of the 'core' group. this basically means that i'm not 'on the hook' or, in other words, it's not my blood on the contract. really, i work for adam, sylvie and toby, is what it boils down to. who knows what might happen in the future, but this is the now.

regardless of the set-up, i am really excited about this project. i haven't been excited about a 'project' in quite some time: possible since my first collaborations with zubot and dawson.

so now, we wait. nothing is likely to happen between now and feb. of 2008: that's still 4 months away...

in the meantime, i have quite the schedule ahead of me from now until new years. i'm going to keep my focus on that, because that's where it needs to be for now.

communication...

we talk and talk and talk, but do we ever really hear?

seriously, i'm in the process of learning a life-lesson that you'd think i would have a bit better of a grip on.

communication. what you think you have said vs. what others hear you say.

what you hope sometimes is that people will pick up what you're putting out. i'm loud and clear, aren't i?

the past few weeks have made it quite obvious that i'm not very loud, definitely in a fog and nobody is really "pickin' up what i'm puttin' out"

so now what? life doesn't care what i think, i'm just part of it.

oh my, existentialism creeps in. nah, can't go there. i'm not bright enough to hold my own attention, let alone anybody elses...

let's be clear, shall we?

my family, my friends, and my career all depend on it. now more than ever. i've managed somehow to slip thru the cracks too many times - just on the verge of something really good, but...

i'm not ungrateful for what i have. i'm not pining for something i feel i'm missing.

i think i'm just finally realizing that you get nothing if you don't ask for it.
and, I think that people really, honestly can't read minds and just know what you're thinking or how you're feeling.

enough said.

looking forward

looking forward to so much.

pacifika. i am probably way too close to it to be un-biased, however, i'm really really liking how this unit is coming together.

the cd will be released in the us and int'l in feb. '08.

it feels like a long time, we're all chomping at the bit to hit it.

funny thing is, i haven't felt so fresh as a player since i started with zubot and dawson years ago.

i really look forward to the challenge of re-creating myself as a player. i'm 43yrs old now, there's no way i can say i know anything, other than what i've experienced.

from my experience, i have learned that being flexible and open is key to staying relevant. at 19 i would never have thought i would ever play country music. the fun part really is the variety.

tomorrow, i'm going to record a christmas album with western canadian music award winner, Lana Rae. she's a children's performer. quite a good one at that. plus, i get the honour of recording with Miles and Miles: Miles Black and Miles Fox-Hill, who is probably one of THE best bass players i've ever played with.

it's going to be a fun day. i hope my right legs holds out...

much ado about nothing...

i have a confession to make. it's not about my internet surfing habits, in case you're waiting for something sordid to go "aha!" to.

three weeks and a few days ago, i had some surgery performed on my right calf.

i was lamely attempting to keep this under wraps from people. probably due to being too self-important. i was legitimately concerned that if word got out about this surgery, my 'hire-ability' would be compromised by rumours of my physical demise as an active drummer/percussionist.

the reader's digest version is this: i was born with severe club-foot (both feet). essentially, feet were turned in such a way that the soles of my feet were practically touching the insides of my ankles. (yes, 'eww', would be an appropriate response) if you need to see pictures, simply google 'club foot' and you'll be 'overwhelmed' with material.

now, club-foot is apparently one of the most common birth defects. many instances are easily corrected by 'binding' casting or bracing the feet into the correct position. babies, being so 'pliable', make this sort of treatment successful most of the time.

unfortunately, i would have to be an exception. and, being born in 1964, meant that there were some things not yet fully understood about the condition and how best to treat it.

fortunately for me, i had a forward-thinking pediatric-orthapaedic doctor.

after spending my first 1.5 yrs essentially in casts, it became apparent that although my feet were technically 'straightened', my heel-cords were so short that it appeared as though i might never be able to walk on a flat-foot. i was a 'toe-walker'

i was one of the first toddlers to ever have had my achilles tendons 'repositioned', essentially lengthening them. thus, after more time in casts and braces, i was essentially able to walk on my feet more or less like everyone else.

the down side was that i had a lifetime of very restricted mobility in my feet to look forward to. you see, the surgeon had to make his 'best-educated-guess' about how tall and big i would be as an adult, and re-attach my achilles tendons to a position that would service me through most of my life.

this restricted mobility meant that i can't walk or run exactly as others do. aside from the usual trials and tribulations of being 'different' from your friends (including those dreaded orthapaedic shoes), my whole body had to adapt to my reality from the ground up.

so, i've been living with back problems from at least my early 20's. my feet, well, i had to adjust right?

how is it that i wound up being a drummer, and actually capable of fulfilling a dream of becoming a professional? well, i don't suppose that i will ever know what my true potential may have been from when i started. i do feel that i adapted quite nicely.

playing bass drum 'heel-down' style was simply never an option. i simply didn't have the range of motion to execute this style without a lot of discomfort. i was, however, quite capable of playing in the 'heel-up' position: essentially using the ball of my foot as a contact and flex-point; a lot of the motion comes from basically 'stepping' with my whole leg, keeping my ankle as loose as i possibly can, and dancing on the balls of my feet.

fortunately, there isn't anything weird about this technique, so nobody ever made fun of me playing the drums... (definitely part of the attraction when you're young). the usual young-canadian-male pursuits like hockey and soccer weren't viable options for me, as i simply couldn't keep up very well.

going back to my first surgery as a toddler: i was made aware at an early age that there was a good chance that i would require further corrective surgery, especially after i finished growing. problem was, there was a lot of scar-tissue built up on my heel-cords. every 'specialist' i had seen didn't want to 'touch' it, so to speak. there would be no guarantee of a successful outcome, given the amount of scar tissue.

so, maybe it took 43 odd years to get a second chance at more improvement, but alas, come it did.

i was referred to a foot and ankle specialist here in vancouver named Dr. Alastair Younger. after examining my feet, and showing them off to his residents (it was a result of a ground-breaking surgery at the time, don't forget), Dr. Younger had a quick solution for me that prior to me seeing him, no one had ever suggested it as an option:

Gastroc Slide, aka Gastrocnemius Release

i wish that there was a lot of information out there on this procedure, unfortunately, there is not. in layman's terms, essentially what is done is that the bundle of tendons (the gastrocenemius tendon, i believe it's called) that form at the upper end of the achilles tendon which connect to our calf muscle is literally cut loose or "released" from its position.

sound painful? it was. trust me.

fortunately, the body is a miraculous machine that seems to know what to do to help itself, often in spite of ourselves. the tendon 'wants' to reattach itself. i believe the term is 'vascular': the principle is quite simple: tendons too-tight, need lengthening - can't lengthen from the bottom up, so lengthen from the top-down by releasing the tendon from its 'purgatory' and allowing it to go where it really wants to go.

so, three weeks later. I've started playing again. i think it's still too soon to say how much improvement there will be, as i still have quite a bit of tenderness, i've only begun physiotherapy, and i can feel and imagine that there is still a good amount of swelling in the tissues around my calf and gastrocenimius. what i can tell for certain is that when i sit and try to tap my feet on the floor from a flat-foot position: i can already raise my right toes higher than my left by a noticeable amount. yay!

i will try to keep updating the progress of my right foot: if all goes well, i'll get the left foot done in about weeks time.

stay tuned...

i have the best wife!

this past tuesday, i came from from my first day of work in two weeks, after having some minor surgery.

i'd forgotten about my wife promising me that my birthday present from aug. 29 would be a bit late.

after saying hello in the kitchen, she takes my shoulders and spins me around to our table. what should be sitting proudly on that table?

a shiny-new Juno-award trophy! she got me the trophy for being a part of Jim Byrnes' Best Blues Recording, Juno-award winning "House of Refuge" cd.

i love my wife! she always reminds me that sometimes i need to stop and remember the really good and positive things about what i do for a living.

responsibility

ok, is it me, or is our society really turning into a bunch of selfish, narcissistic, ego-centric, over-entitled, lack of responsiblity taking automatons?

i'm a parent (ok, like join a club or something, hurray for me, give me a medal?? whatever)

i am so sick of listening to and reading about people wringing their hands over the alleged demise of social mores and ethics in today's youth.

it's simple, and i see it everyday. nobody takes responsibility. we 'adults' are responsible. really. it's true.

what did you expect the kids to do? where do you think they get it from?

we blindly accept our 'leaders' refusing to take responsibility for some unconscionable act, because we know that the lie, when repeatedly told, becomes the truth.

we call it marketing, spin, pr...

it's become so bad that we are truly stopped in our tracks when someone actually stands up and says "yeah, i did it. it was stupid and irresponsible, and i don't know what i was thinking. but, yes, i did it"

and we can't figure out what's going all 'wrong' with our kids today?

it's time to stop trying to fix the problem by simply wrapping more duct tape around it. someone has actually got to go in and replace the broken pipe.

targeting and correcting just our kids behaviour seems like a good way to go about it, however don't you suppose that maybe, just maybe the better solution is for us all to take a look at our belly-buttons and change what's within.

remember that water flows downhill. it will undoubtedly take time for the upcoming generation to pick up an adjusted sense of responsibility, but c'mon folks: this simply can't be an impossible dream.

please, and thank-you.

small world, watch out!

i believe in karma. sometimes, it doesn't work, but often it does.

i do have to stay vague, because if anybody reads this who knows whom i am referring to: could be a bit embarrassing...

i know a guy who i've known and done business with over the years.

my acquaintance met a guy who came a-callin' because he was the new guy dealing with stuff the business i'm with used to deal with.

for some inexplicable reason, this new "guy-who-came-a-callin" seemed to think that it is completely normal, acceptable and ethical to openly question my employer's company's intelligence and acumen.

are you kidding me?

my friend reportedly said: "Maybe you should stop while you're ahead..."

i laughed.

i really can't wait for clowns like this guy come to learn that they simply don't know what they think they know.

competition is good. bring it on. but dissing your competition and openly calling their character and intelligence into question is just bad taste; especially if you don't have all the facts at hand about a set of circumstances.

previous blogs

if anybody cared to get a sense of how i write or what i write about, you can go see some of my blog entries at my MySpace page. i s'pose that you can also get an idea of who i am and what i do.

this is

the first, but certainly not the last post.

i have been blogging sporadically on MySpace and discovered that i like it. it doesn't matter to me that i become a famous blogger. i don't believe that i have any earth-shattering insights that warrant special attention. and, i certainly don't intend on trying to make this a 'job'.

just a place to leave my thoughts with the risk that others might find them interesting, insightful, stupid, idiotic, brilliant, self-absorbed, narcissistic, deeply philosophical, amusing, ridiculous... i think you get the point.

attempts at avoiding the mundane day-to-day drudgery that is simply not interesting will be avoided as much as is possible, with certain allowances for things that just have to be shared (of course)

attempts at controversy will be kept to a minimum, however, i cannot promise to behave myself. i also cannot promise that i will use caps in my writing. i'm not trying to be cute-sy, it's just how i've been doing it for awhile and i have no motivation to change my ways.