so if a drumstick hits a drum

and the mute button is still on, does anybody hear it?

Dizzy Drummer

Today, an early example of Aarona's Manga. This piece is called 'Lesley Native' and would have been done during the summer of 2008. Leslie is a real person, a friend of my wife whom I'm pretty sure happens to be part native.

The little musical note at the top isn't accidental either, seeing as Leslie happens to be a quite excellent Canadian singer-songwriter. I'll give her a very deserving shout-out: Leslie Alexander. Go see and listen. She's the real-deal.

Right then. In the spirit of sharing, I'm going to continue on to my original topic. Musician's and performers have a myriad of 'career-specific' ailments that can affect us. Usually, repetitive motion related conditions tend to dominate conversations, i.e. tendonitis, bursitis, carpal tunnel, repetitive motion strain, etc.

Instead of trying to add to an already well-represented topic, I'm going to talk about something else. Dizziness.

I 'confessed' sometime ago and told the internet all about having had surgery on my calf muscles in order to 'finally' correct a partially-corrected birth defect.

Well, I went back to read that post, called Much Ado About Nothing from 2007. I never did say anymore about it, not to mention, never did I talk about the second surgery.

I had that second surgery in January 2008. To be completely honest: I haven't been the same since. From the moment I was brought out of general anesthetic, I haven't felt 'right'.

It feels too long to go into the whole story, so I'll just cover a few of the essentials: Less than 2 weeks post surgery; in addition to having trouble with pain management, I was struck with a case of BPPV (Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo). This was no case of your-average-garden-variety-bed-spins-due-to-too-much-alcohol...

I still don't feel right. It's December 2009, and now going onto 2 years since that initial onset.

I've been to see an ENT 'dizzy' specialist, a neurologist. I've had an MRI, CT scans, and had balance and vertigo tests that I don't care to repeat.

All that changed was that I stopped suffering from actual Vertigo (the spins). Now, I kind of exist in a semi-permanent state of imbalance and what is called 'vestibular deficiency'.

The short-version explanation is that the rocks in my head, well my inner ear actually, don't stay put in their little 'cocoons'. They break-off and float around and bump up against little tiny, microscopic hairs that are part of our balance system. Every time they bump, I will see things as though they are moving slowly about in my visual field, or I will feel light 'bumps' and 'pushes', or I will have a sensation very much like being in one of those funhouses with the room where the floor keeps shifting, trying to knock you off balance.

And, I can frequently feel sound. This can be unsettling (for obvious reasons) because I never seem to get any warning when it is about to happen. Unfortunately, it seems worst when it's women's voices in the Alto range. My wife tries not to take this personally...

Oddly enough, one would think that my playing the drums would be a bad thing, but the instrument I play seems to affect me the least. I didn't say that it all made sense...

While I could probably write pages about this experience, I really just want to finally put it out there that something happened that has changed me in no small way.

Yes, I can function fairly normally: The Doctors did assure me that my brain will gradually adapt to the mixed signals it receives. The brain is pretty remarkable that way. It will learn which signals to ignore and simply ignore them.

When I get tired, or am having a bad balance day, nothing helps. I can't be in situations that have a lot of stimulation or lots of background noise. I'm always on guard when I'm walking, because I will suddenly bump into things, and I can't help doing so. It's no fun feeling like a clumsy idiot at times, but there you have it.

Fortunately, I've managed to avoid any problems while playing the drums. Though I've come close to falling off my seat on many occasions, I've avoided actually falling.

I'll go for days at a time feeling nauseous and wanting to throw up, but it never quite gets that far.

Dr. Dizzy suggested that I will have this for the rest of my life. Or, it could just as easily disappear one day. In the meantime, all I can do is try to cope as best I can.

Nice.

Self employed in today's economy...

This is called "The Swan".




Aarona was just 5 when she drew this. I've been looking for some examples of her early 'future primitive' work and I hope to scan and put some up over the next little while.

While I have much on my mind, I don't really have a lot I wish to say. We all have these kinds of days....

One subject that has officially gone from the fringes of my consciousness to the forefront is the economy.

I can only speak of what I know of. And what I know from having talked to quite a few professional associates that there are simply fewer and fewer gigs out there for us working musicians. Oh, people are working and some folks are still quite busy. But, it's nothing like even just last year's Xmas season. I've lost count of how many of my compatriots have expressed frustration and growing anxiety over the increasingly lack of reliable work.

The dreaded 'career change' conversations, not to mention "I may need to get a day job" have been heard from some very surprising sources.

I'd be lying if I claimed to not have thought that exact thing. It's getting a bit scary out there. There's a lot of very talented people struggling. The only silver lining at this point is that Olympic-related gigs are starting to come in, which is a good thing. However, when that's all said and done after about a month of hopefully good feasting, there's probably going to be a nasty hangover to contend with.

All I can do - All anyone can do is keep working at keeping working. I've personally been spending a lot more time honing my studio engineering/production chops. I've also been practicing quite a bit more than I used to. I'm also looking at what other opportunities I can drum up (pardon the pun) within the Music Industry.

It's getting tough though.

Being versatile is good

Today, I was hired to play on some 30+ musical vignettes. These are apparently to be used for Radio-Canada's 2010 Olympic promotional advertisements. Fortunately, the studio I was recording at had a nice drum set for me to play. However, seeing as I also play all kinds of hand percussion, I had also brought along the kitchen sink. Well, lots of other cool sounding toys and drums...

The versatility thing is very appropriate reference. I literally had to play the following styles: Funk, Blues, Jazz-Fusion, Jazz (ECM style), Ska, Punk, Hard Rock, Rhythm and Blues, Hip-Hop, Big-Band Jazz, Country Swing, World Beat, Ambient.

It was fun! and challenging. Being in the studio means having to operate on 'max' concentration, staying focused and paying attention to detail. This session also meant I had to really on my versatility game, as I needed to sound as different for each style as I possibly could. This meant frequent changing of snare drums, cymbals, sticks, brushes, whatever was needed.

Looking forward to hearing the end results (and seeing). The producer showed us a couple of the video vignettes and they're pretty amazing.

Today's art feature from Aarona comes from Aug. 08. It's titled 'Stage Fright':

Unfortunately is hard to see all of the detail. If you can't make out the caption, it reads: "Uh-oh, I think I need to use a litter box. Nothing wrong with her sense of humour...

In the future, I'll post some of her earlier art, which my sister refers to as 'future primitive'. Aarona was about 4 and a half, or 5 when she started. I don't think she knew or cared about 'future primitive', however she apparently is/was good at it. More to come...

Missed a gig...

I'm mortified. I can't believe that I did this. forgetting about a gig is something that you hear about others doing. You know... "So and so flaked out on last night's gig". Well, guess who has become one of 'so and so'?

shit.

Fortunately, if there is a silver lining to all this is that it was a casual xmas afternoon affair, that is (and actually was) easily and successfully done without yours truly. Fortunate for me, that is.

Sounds like I'm making light of what I did. I'm not. I feel very crappy and guilty about this. The client is one of the nicest people I have the honor of working with. She has been very supportive and understanding.

Obviously, I just can't let this happen again.

Well, ok then. Here's a new thing I'd like to try: I'm going to do two things: 1) start posting more regularly and 2) start posting scans of some of my daughter, Aarona's art. It's really time others saw what my I get to see on a daily basis. She really is something.

Here's one from 2008: She was beginning to become enamored with Manga at this point.



She would have been just 7 years old.

dead man's pants

by the way,

i finally did actually do something further to that "new groove idea" post from last year (heh)

the 'tune', if you want to call it that is now called "Dead Man's Pants"

it's still quite raw. at least i have managed to get most of the idea down that i was hoping to.

i'm sure that i'll be going back and tweaking it somewhat.

in the meantime, it is up on myspace if you wish to check it out.

the name, if you're wondering where it came from, refers to a old friend who was taken from us all far too soon, bout 4 years ago now.

it may sound strange to you, but over the course of the memorial (which i attended), i had been given one of his custom-made suits before i left to come home. we were very close to the same size and build: i must admit it was a bit creepy; as the first time i put on the suit, it fit me almost flawlessly.

i have worn this suit on several occaisons.

sad to say, i managed to lose the suit-jacket back in early 2007 while attending a trade-show. i don't really know where or how i managed to lose it, but there you have it.

all i have left are a pair of 'dead man's pants'.

i fell asleep...

so deeply that when i awoke, i was truly disoriented and confused.

this happened this afternoon.

i'm still in the midst of recovering from having the gastroc recession done on my left calf. (i think i wrote about that sometime ago...)

i had to start taking gabapentin (neurontin - essentially a nerve sedative) to calm down neural spasms that had been putting a serious crimp in my recovery...

it's entirely possible that the drug has something to do with it.

what i do know is that i haven't had a sleep like that for as long as i can recall.

weird.