new groove idea

i just posted a new idea i have on my MySpace site. it's very basic and raw... i thought i would share my process for composing and "assembling" these tracks. i've never really shared my drumming in this way before, and now i'm finally starting to get those "voices in my head" out into the universe.

if you do feel compelled to comment...

why do it

ok, maybe i owe an apology. i do have to admit that i was sure that i could write something and feel okay about complete strangers reading it. what stops me from going to that level is fear of exposing myself that intimately. seriously. what else could it be.

so, at the risk of looking like a complete ass, i'm going to put this "poem" up for real this time. with all the fears that i have at being judged like some ego centric teenager, what's the worst that could happen? someone might not like it and say so?

i should hope that i would have a thicker skin by now. rejection goes with being self-employed...

here goes:

the endless home – ep 2007

will u lay beside me
when I’m dead and gone?

will u be beside me
the only one,
the only one,
the only one.

it’s darker outside without
my eyes to guide me.
i feel my way around,
where no one may find me.

I’ll forget where I’m goin’,
but not til I’m done
thinking and feeling
scared, I’ve been running,
oh what from?

will u be beside me
when I’m dead and gone?

if u see me scared,
what can I do,
to make u feel happy
and not see me
through…

will u lay beside me…
when I’m dead and gone?

will u be beside me
the only one,
the only one,
the only one.

my own eyes
are blinded with haze
of no certain terms in
endless, distant gaze.

beside my own feeling
I put out to you
to take me in your heart
and let my hurt undo.

will u be beside me
when I’m dead and gone?

will u be beside me?
the only one,
the only one,
the endless home.

a poem - the endless home

Here is a poem I've written that I have a musical idea to put to. I don't usually do this, as I've never really been one to "identify" with lyrics. I've always found that music moves me more... Back when I actually allowed myself to listen to classical music (I haven't done that, actually since I moved to vancouver. it's like i wanted to erase a part of me)

anyways, enough of that. i was also wondering why i would even bother putting this up in here. is the only possible reason for writing this blog born from some sense of self-aggrandizing, narcissistic need to feel important, worthwhile and meaningful in a world of over 6 billion souls?

i can't do it. i'm just not ready yet.

pacifika signs to six degrees records

this is cool stuff.

it's finally official, after having to keep my mouth basically shut for months. the paperwork is signed, the cd is in it's final stages of re-mixing and re-mastering and should be released under the six degrees label in february of 2008.

for those who don't know who six degrees records are, i don't blame you. neither did i until about 6 months ago, when their interest in pacifika was first revealed to me.

i've been pretty outspoken against the whole major-label game. these guys really are different. first off, its a very small company with a big reach and an impressive roster. the biggest attraction to me is that they really are about the music first. for example, one of the owners, Bob Duskis has a weekly podcast, featuring stuff he likes, and not always roster artists from the label. i've listened a few times and have really enjoyed it.

btw, the link to six degrees records is this: www.sixdegreesrecords.com - do go check them out. they have a heavy emphasis on world and world/electronic, world/trance.

for me, it's both great news and a bit of the unknown. you see, i'm still technically a 'side-man' in the project, though i am considered essential to the sound and part of the 'core' group. this basically means that i'm not 'on the hook' or, in other words, it's not my blood on the contract. really, i work for adam, sylvie and toby, is what it boils down to. who knows what might happen in the future, but this is the now.

regardless of the set-up, i am really excited about this project. i haven't been excited about a 'project' in quite some time: possible since my first collaborations with zubot and dawson.

so now, we wait. nothing is likely to happen between now and feb. of 2008: that's still 4 months away...

in the meantime, i have quite the schedule ahead of me from now until new years. i'm going to keep my focus on that, because that's where it needs to be for now.

communication...

we talk and talk and talk, but do we ever really hear?

seriously, i'm in the process of learning a life-lesson that you'd think i would have a bit better of a grip on.

communication. what you think you have said vs. what others hear you say.

what you hope sometimes is that people will pick up what you're putting out. i'm loud and clear, aren't i?

the past few weeks have made it quite obvious that i'm not very loud, definitely in a fog and nobody is really "pickin' up what i'm puttin' out"

so now what? life doesn't care what i think, i'm just part of it.

oh my, existentialism creeps in. nah, can't go there. i'm not bright enough to hold my own attention, let alone anybody elses...

let's be clear, shall we?

my family, my friends, and my career all depend on it. now more than ever. i've managed somehow to slip thru the cracks too many times - just on the verge of something really good, but...

i'm not ungrateful for what i have. i'm not pining for something i feel i'm missing.

i think i'm just finally realizing that you get nothing if you don't ask for it.
and, I think that people really, honestly can't read minds and just know what you're thinking or how you're feeling.

enough said.